Navigating family relationships in retirement
Last weekend, I spent several days immersed in a wider family celebration.
We ate together, drank together, and danced together.
Family members came from across London, the UK and from overseas.
We don’t get to be together and celebrate on this scale often, so it was special.
I know I’m lucky to have a large extended family. Not everyone does. Or the one you have can be overwhelming.
Having family to stay or being in each other’s company for much of the day and night when you don’t see each other in person most of the time, can also be intense.
This experience made me think about family and how to navigate these relationships in retirement.
Making time for family
One of the benefits of being retired, whatever other commitments you make, is that you can choose to make more time for family, to maintain and strengthen your relationships.
Maybe you have cousins or intergenerational relationships you want to explore, or you’re not as close to siblings as you’d like to be.
It’s not too late to reach out and change this.
Setting boundaries and being ok with saying no
The more we spend time with family, the more we know our own limits and warning signs. When feelings of joy or belonging may turn to irritation or distress.
What quality and quantity of relationship do you want?
Maybe it’s visiting family for an intensive weekend once a year, getting together in person for a few hours once a month, or having a weekly phone call.
Work out what’s right for you to keep the relationship in a more positive state and set boundaries for yourself to keep it that way.
Chosen family
Family relationships can be complicated. For our own self-protection we may choose to end certain family relationships, or limit time spent engaging in them.
Or for whatever reason, your family may be small.
Many of us will also have ‘chosen family’. The people who get you and support you no matter what.
Make time for these family relationships too.
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